There are generally two types of science: first, there’s the type that makes computers work, allows us to ride around in metal boxes propelled by continuous explosion, and makes it so that milk doesn’t taste all gross. Then there’s the fringe science, the stuff that shoots up your nose like mathematical horseradish and dances a jig on your brain…or brane, as it were (that’s the nerdiest joke in the article, we promise). So kick off your work boots, put on your thought slippers, and prepare for a science course so mind-blowing, it’s written almost entirely in italics.

The Crazy Part:The part where you jiggle an electron on one side of the universe and an invisible force traverses millions of light years and smacks another electron into wiggling instantaneously, which is about a million years faster than is technically possible without time travel.

What It Says: That if two electrons are created together, they are forever “entangled,” much like you and your high school sweetheart according to some shitty poems you wrote in tenth grade. And, also like you and your ex-love, regardless of the distance between the two electrons, a change in quantum spin in one electron will immediately cause the other electron to change spin as well. So like, when she has sex with Bob Feeney, the team’s QB after the first date, even though you’re home alone playing Tetris, your heart will ache with a sudden and unmistakable pain. That’s the pain of entanglement, my friend.

So What Does This Do For Me? Teleportation, holmes. Only really tiny. In theory, you could separate two electrons by as much space as you wanted (say, the breadth of the universe), and they’d still be linked in such a way that actions taken on one would affect the other instantaneously. Meaning information is being transmitted at speeds faster than light. Meaning, if you want to really go nuts, time travel. And though the party pooping scientists have been busy coming up with limitations on the kind of information that could be transmitted (it seems super-fast computers that allow you to play Gears of War against people in parallel dimensions may be a ways off), no one has yet been able to disprove the theory that there is an invisible force in the universe capable of affecting matter millions of light-years away…instantly.

Wait, It Gets Worse: If you subscribe to the whole “Big Bang” thing, then there was a point in the past in which every atom in the universe was condensed into a singularity. Which means everything, even you and that bastard Bob Feeney, are quantumly entangled. Some scientists have even gone so far as to claim that quantum entanglement shows that there is no such thing as space, and that everything in the universe is still touching. Space is just an illusion created by our flawed perceptions, and we’re all one. The hippies were right after all.

Level Of Mind Blowing-ness: A fistful of acid tabs followed by the flume ride at Disneyworld.

The Crazy Part: The part where the family tree of every living creature on Earth collides at a single point on a single day in the past, making you related to Hitler as well as every insect you’ve ever killed..

What It Says: We’re all familiar with the basics of evolution: that a munificent monkey-goddess birthed us all from Her banana-scented womb. But there are some lesser-discussed implications of natural selection that are just plain weird. For one, scientists have concluded that around 140,000 years ago in Kenya, there lived a woman called Mitochondrial Eve (cavemen had weird names), so named because today, every living human on Earth has her mitochondrial DNA in their body (cavemen were also prescient). And only 3,000 years ago lived a person known as the Most Recent Common Ancestor, who, through exponential growth of the family tree, is the ancestor of every single person on Earth. And did you know that, based on the same principles (and a lot of rape), Genghis Kahn has over 16 million descendants? Who’s your Daddy now?!

So What Does This Do For Me? Well, for one, you can rest assured than anyone you ever have sex with in your entire life is at least your distant, distant cousin. So that’s nice. And if you’re really a nut for genealogy, why not trace your heritage back to the Last Universal Ancestor, the single-celled organism who, about 4 billion years ago, decided to go ahead and give rise to every living creature that will ever exist on the face of the Earth? Talk about a pimp. In essence, the whole of life on the planet can be considered one long, unbroken chemical reaction that is still resolving itself, like the foam flowing out of a science fair volcano.

Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out. Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister. Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower.

And lastly, a thought for the right-wingers out there: At some point half of you was an egg in your Mother’s womb. That egg existed in her body from the day she was born. And a long, long time ago, she too was an egg in her Mother’s womb, who had that egg ready for use from the moment she squirmed out of your Great Grandma’s nethers. The point being, technically speaking, there’s no break in the chain of existence, no time when you are not a life form of at least the most rudimentary sort. Your family, at least on your Mother’s side, could theoretically be considered an immortal, constantly-regenerating organism. Of course that would make men, whose sperm has to be created years after the moment of birth, just disposable donors here to fuel the everlasting fire of womanhood. You go girls!

Level Of Mind Blowing-ness: Four Hemmingway suicides.

The Crazy Part: The part where the furniture in your house behaves differently when you’re not around.

What It Says: Besides sounding like the subtitle of The Da Vinci Code II, The Copenhagen Interpretation is probably the most widely accepted explanation for the observations made through quantum mechanics. It came about in part to explain the infamous “Double Slit Experiment,” which is the one your physics professor probably made you do. The Double Slit Experiment shows that an electron, fired at a wall with two slits in it, will sometimes go through sometimes go through one, sometimes through the other, and sometimes it will go through both slits simultaneously (meaning, a single thing will be in two places at once). In short, it goes batshit fucking insane. The twist is, if you try and observe the electron at the moment it passes through the slits—you know, to figure out what the hell is wrong with it—the electron goes back to behaving like a normal electron, and innocently shoots through one of the slits while giving you, and reality, the finger. The details of why this happens are sort of technical, but this simple diagram should explain it:

So What Does This Do For Me? The Copenhagen Interpretation is the result of a lot of smart people trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with these damn electrons. What they came up with is that all particles exist as waves of probability. From the observer’s perspective, there’s only a certain chance that a given electron will go through the left slit or right slit. When you don’t watch, it remains a cloud of probability and sort of does a little of everything. When you watch, the act of observing it somehow causes the cloud to pick a side. So the next time you observe a particle, be warned: they know you’re watching, and as soon as you stop, they’re going to start a party.

Wait, It Gets Worse: If you apply the Copenhagen Interpretation to bigger objects, it gets even weirder. The infamous Schrodinger’s Cat thought experiment, the one your physics professor probably got fired for doing, said that if you put a cat in a box and press a button that has a fifty percent chance of filling the box with poison gas, then until you go and look in the box, the cat exists as a cat-cloud which is simultaneously both alive and dead. And there’s more: if everything exists as a probability wave, then that means that technically, anything possible could happen at any time. There’s nothing stopping a big floppy dick from sprouting out of your forehead right now; it’s just highly unlikely. You feel lucky, punk?

Level Of Mind-Blowig-ness: Let’s just say it might be time to invest in a tarp.

The Crazy Part: The part where you realize that somewhere in some parallel universe you just died while reading this sentence.

What It Says: The Many Worlds Theory rejects The Copenhagen Interpretation’s crazy idea that particles can change their behavior seemingly at will, and replaces it with the much crazier idea that the only reason we think particles are changing their behavior is that we’re only seeing that particle’s action in one universe, rather than the infinite number of universes that actually exist. So an observed particle with two options—say, to pound beers at a Van Halen tribute show or drop E and storm a techno club—actually does both, even though we may only observe the techno club, in some other universe, parallel to our own, that particle is rocking out to “Eruption” instead of rubbing itself ferociously on anything with a body temperature.

So What Does This Do For Me? If you buy into the Many Worlds Theory, the implications are infinite. And let’s be clear about what “infinite” means here. For every action you’ve ever taken, every movement you’ve ever made, even down to the atomic level, there’s a parallel universe out there where you did something else instead. Anything else. Instead of learning guitar, you burst into flames. Instead of opening the fridge, you freebased black tar heroin. Instead of nude rock climbing, you went nude bungee jumping. Instead of reading this article, you worked productively and got a handsome raise. Think about it: in some parallel universe out there, you and your high school sweetheart are making hot, reconciliatory love atop Bob Feeney’s smoldering corpse after you killed a laser-breathing velociraptor with your bare hands. If that thought doesn’t make you feel better about how mundane your actual life is, we don’t know what will.

Wait, It Gets Worse: If you think The Many Worlds Theory is a tad too far fetched an explanation for some electrons behaving weirdly, you’re not alone. In an effort to simplify things, scientists have come up with The Many Minds Theory, which says your brain splits up at the instant you make an observation, and then your many brains observe every possible outcome. Yes, that’s right, an infinite number of parallel brains, existing without universes (let alone skulls) to house them in. Awesome. Much simpler.

Level Of Mind Blowing-ness: A TNT-tipped jackhammer to the eye socket.

The Crazy Part: The part where the Universe isn’t just bigger than you can possibly comprehend, but according to recent evidence, billions of times larger than that.

What It Says: That the universe is big. So big, that just that fact, just it’s mere bigness, is enough to blow your tiny ant mind. And it just keeps getting bigger. Let’s examine the famous Hubble Ultra Deep Field image, the most massive photo ever taken:

Right now, on your computer screen, are approximately 10,000 galaxies.

Each of those galaxies contains anywhere from ten million to one trillion stars.

The average star is roughly a million times the size of Earth.

And yet, with all that junk, the Universe is more than 90 percent empty space.

All of that, in this tiny photo. A photo that took 400 orbits and 800 exposures to take.

And the kicker? The photo covers one thirteen-millionth of the entire night sky.

So What Does This Do For Me? If you’re like us, it leaves you alternately awash with spiritual wonder and horrified feelings of utter insignificance. Actually imagining just how infinitesimal you are in the scope of the universe is like autoerotic asphyxiation: it’s not as pleasant as you’d think, and if you do it wrong you can end up a vegetable. And without getting too Douglas Adams on you, can you possibly imagine that much space and that many planets and stars and atoms smashing together without intelligent life forming? Now it’s just a matter of getting around that pesky general relativity and we’ll be chilling with aliens in no time. Or, like, a million years.

Wait, It Gets Worse: So all that shit we just said about how big the universe is (at least 90 billion light years)? Forget it. That’s small beans. The Cosmological Horizon is here to make your day a whole lot more complicated. Since we can only observe stellar bodies that have had some effect on us (usually bombarding us with light), there is an outer limit to what we can see of the universe. Hence, the “observable universe.” What about the rest? The parts of the universe beyond our Starcraft-style fog of war? Well, according to some math we have no interest in going into, the size of the “actual” universe is so large that if the universe we just described (the impossibly, mind-bogglingly large one) were the size of a quarter, the actual universe would be the size of the Earth. Daaaaaaaamn.

Level Of Mind Blowing-ness: The sound of one hand clapping for a tree falling in the woods while no one’s around except a guy whose skull is wired with C4.

1. Say Something Very Long and Very Fast, or else GET HIT ON THE NUTS!

2. Try to Jump Around Very Rapidly Spinning Circle Surfaces only to get KNOCKED ON YOUR HEAD and then thrown into a pool

3. Run as fast as you can towards a door and hope that you can break through, or else SLAM YOUR FACE in!

4. Try to play soccer with BINOCULARS on!

5. A game of paper rock scissors where you SLAM YOUR OPPONENTS HEAD (I love how one of the contestants goes nuts!)

6. Try to outrun ever faster treadmills only to get slammed on your face

7. Get spun around and have to box someone else

8. Bowling where the contestant is the bowling 'ball'

9. Human Tetris - 'nuf said

10. Try to eat marshmallows with your head tied to a wall with elastic bands

8 Great Villains We Want in the Next Batman Movie

With The Dark Knight set to break box-office records, a sequel is almost certainly in the works. With Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhardt's masterful performances as The Joker and Two-Face, respectively, finding another villian or two to ably face off against the caped crusader, while staying true to Christopher Nolan's darker tone won't be an easy task. Here's 8 villains that may be able to pull it off.

8-Dr. Hugo Strange

Character's effectiveness and value:While Dr. Hugo Strange might not be very physically intimidating or threatening, his mental prowess and ingenuity make him a credible foe.  His comic book schemes have included massive, genetically-engineered monsters that attack upon command, and the discovery and attempted auction of Batman's secret identity.  He was also one of the first reoccurring Batman villains, appearing before both the Joker and the Catwoman.

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: The not-so-good doctor would easily lend himself to a practical portrayal, especially since his costuming would probably only include a lab coat and some Windsor glasses.  There also seems to be a degree of mistrust with today's medical field and its practitioners, and the filmmakers could certainly tap into that fear when developing this character.

Influence of previous interpretations: Aside from one or two animated Batman episodes, Dr. Strange has been sparsely utilized on screen making him a character that has little previously-established bias.

7-The Penguin

Character's effectiveness and value: One of the most glaring weaknesses of the Penguin is his lack of menacing qualities.  He's short, obese, and chain smokes, meaning his athletic prowess is pretty low.  That being said, he does have an extremely rich history in Batman lore, and his character has been thoroughly fleshed out resulting in more depth than your average villain. 

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: The Penguin is another character that would translate fairly easily into film.  He seems to favor formal clothing, but given his physical attributes, masking his insecurities with feigned affluence seems natural.  At one time the Penguin was rumored to be cast in The Dark Knight as a British arms dealer, which lends further credence to the idea that he could be done realistically.

Influence of previous interpretations:There have been a myriad of Penguin portrayals all of varying degrees of quality, so it would be tough to escape any foregoing prejudice and this could be seen as another weakness for the character.  Hopefully that won't dissuade the usage of him because there is an underlying creepiness with the Penguin, and as we saw with Christopher Nolan's Joker, creepiness is something that he seems to do well.

6-Mr. Whisper

Character's effectiveness and value: Mr. Whisper was said to be an ancient monk who sold his soul to the devil in exchange for eternal life, and an immortal would likely make a very formidable villain.  In the comic Batman: Gothic, the shadowless Mr. Whisper runs amuck in Gotham, slaying numerous mob bosses in an attempt to win back his soul.  Batman repeatedly does battle with Whisper, but it's especially tough to defeat someone who's death-resistant when you've taken a vow not to kill.

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: Mr. Whisper's outside appearance would not be a problem in terms of rational depictions, but the fact that he survives falls from skyscrapers and head-on collisions with trains might seem a bit too improbable for the next Batman movie. An ambiguous approach to Mr. Whisper's perceived powers might be the best way to portray the character on film, keeping the audience guessing whether or not he really is superhuman.

Influence of previous interpretations: As previously mentioned, Mr. Whisper can only be found in the graphic novel Batman: Gothic, and as a result there haven't been any distorted interpretations done.  So if Mr. Whisper was utilized, no audience member would have any preconceived partiality.

5-Zsasz

Character's effectiveness and value:Zsasz is a serial killer who cuts tally marks into his skin after each subsequent murder.  He regularly refers to his victims as zombies and he insists that he's liberating them from pointless existence by slitting their throats.  He briefly appeared in Batman Begins as an inmate in Arkham Asylum where he was identified as a hitman for the mob.  During the film, his recognizable scars could momentarily be seen during his escape from Arkham.

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: His potential is obviously very high since he has already been imagined and introduced into the film's universe. 

Influence of previous interpretations: Beyond the comic books, the only other source where Zsasz can be found is in the Batman Begins movie, and as a result the character hasn't yet been tainted by any earlier distortions.  So a more fleshed out and prominent role in the ensuing film would set the cinematic interpretation standard.

4-Deacon Blackfire

Character's effectiveness and value: While less of a preacher and more of a cult-leader, Deacon Blackfire led a band of brainwashed Gotham citizens into what he described as a war on crime.  Eventually this cult took over all of Gotham resulting in its segregation from the rest of the country.  At one point a weakened Batman had even become an indoctrined sect member; however, by the end of the story he realizes the error of his ways and beats the reverend senseless.

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: There really isn't anything too unusual or improbable about the deacon to warrant not including him in the movie.  While Blackfire makes claims that may seem too sensational for the film, specifically regarding the immortality he receives by bathing in blood, by the end of the comic we find out that indeed the deacon was more of a conman than immortal, firmly grounding the story in reality.

Influence of previous interpretations: The graphic novel Batman: The Cult is the only source where Deacon Blackfire can be found, so again, there aren't any other representations of this character to muddle his prospects.

3-Catwoman

Character's effectiveness and value: The Catwoman is one of Batman's oldest foes and on occasion she's portrayed as a love interest and ally.  She is known for being a master thief and as a result she is often cleverly referred to by others as a cat-burglar, although her crimes are often given noble intentions similar to a black-spandex-clad Robin Hood.  Overall, she is one of the most popular Batman figures, having appeared in more adaptations than any other villain.

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: The Catwoman is another character in the Batman mythos who, like the caped crusader himself, possesses no special powers.  This makes her easily translatable into Christopher Nolan's very grounded Batman films.  She also has costuming that is traditionally very similar to Batman's, so her acceptance based on attire in this universe would be no less likely than his.

Influence of previous interpretations: Being the Batman villain that has seen the most adaptations means the Catwoman comes with lots of baggage.  From her appearances in several movies (notably, the terrible film starring Halle Berry) to countless television show spots, the Catwoman has become an ingrained pop-culture icon.  And ultimately, it's this familiarity that becomes the biggest drawback when considering the likelihood of this character's utilization.

2-The Riddler

Character's effectiveness and value: The Riddler is another Batman villain that strikes little fear into the hearts of do-gooders.  This could be due to his lack of physical weapons, or his insistence on leaving riddle-based clues at his crimes that always result in his schemes being revealed and then thwarted.  That being said, the cerebral nature of the character seems to lend itself well to Christopher Nolan's more mature and thoughtful approach, and the character's rich history provides abundant potential. 

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: Provided enough green fabric can be found to create an olive suit and matching Bowler hat, there really isn't anything too unusual about this character.  Certainly a less cartoony, more mature interpretation would be necessary to make this character believable, but if an audience can buy a grown man fighting crime under the guise of a humanoid bat, it should be able to accept a criminal fond of riddles.

Influence of previous interpretations: Again, this is a character that has been done before and to limited success.  So if the Riddler was going to be again seen on a movie screen, a deep reinterpretation would be necessary.  There have been recent allusions made by several cast members though, indicating that indeed this character could be the next Batman villain.

1-Black Mask

Character's effectiveness and value: Black Mask is a deranged mob boss in Gotham city who wears a skull-like mask carved from his mother's ebony coffin.  Growing up, Black Mask had a parentally forced-friendship with Bruce Wayne, one which he despised and which grew into a deep resentment of the Waynes.  Black Mask frequently uses torture not only for personal gain but for personal satisfaction, often resulting in the death of his victims. 

Character's potential for realistic portrayal: While some might see the skull-like mask to be a bit of a stretch in regards to realism, the motive of personal resentment and subsequent revenge certainly isn't.  This is a very dark character and one can easily picture him fitting into the darker tone established in these Batman movies.  As a mob boss, he also easily fits in with plots and themes used in the earlier films.

Influence of previous interpretations: While Black Mask has been used a number of times in comics, his universal recognition is pretty limited.  To the diehard fan he is pretty significant in the Batman canon, but to those who are only casually interested in the Caped Crusader, he would be a complete unknown.  To put it simply, Black Mask has a lot of theatrical potential.

Thinking Outside the Box: 8 Ways The Dark Knight Shines

• Posted by glen on July 20th, 2008

photo credit: ?NiJoKeR?

There are only a few movies that break the norms and become something special because they didn’t do what everyone else did before them. The latest Batman movie The Dark Knight is just one of those movies.

I should probably preface this post with the fact that honestly, I’m not that much of a Batman fan. Growing up I enjoyed the Old Skool Batman movie with Michael Keaton, but since then I’ve had a hard time with all of the later Batman movies. Still, I managed to snag a much-coveted ticket to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight, and was incredibly impressed. I won’t give another gushing review, because you can read those anywhere. But I do believe this movie will win actual awards (Best Actor, Best Movie?) from the Academy later on.The Dark Knight is an exceptional movie because the people who created it thought completely outside of the box.

Starting From Scratch

The writers of The Dark Knight completely tore down all stereotypes surrounding the Batman movies. By completely re-thinking every aspect of the movie, they were able to create something exceptional and unlike any other comic movie ever. Here’s how they did it:

1. Sparse and creepy music - Instead of crafting a film score like other action/superhero blockbusters, The Dark Knight takes a minimalist approach to film score. Instead of using loud, broad music to set the tone in the movie, the film score effectively steps out of the way, letting the incredible acting by Heath Ledger and Company take over the tone of the movie.

The music also has another interesting twist to it: When music is actually present, it’s done with almost a horror movie feel. When the Joker is going to do something creepy, there is a slight buzzing sound that grows. It’s not an instrument, just a buzzing sound. Very creepy, and very effective.

2. Going IMax - Shooting a film largely with IMAX cameras had been a goal of director Christopher Nolan for a long time, but the right project hadn’t come along until The Dark Knight. There are many obstacles to shooting in IMAX. First, they’re much heavier and bulkier than traditional cameras, so Nolan had to modify the camera arms so that they could support the weight. However, an even bigger obstacle proved to be the limited film was the fact that IMAX cameras have 2 and a half minute load times.

Even though there were many obstacles to filming the movie in IMAX, the results are breathtaking. The frames are much larger and clearer, and everything comes to life. By overcoming obstacles with IMAX technology, The Dark Knight was allowed to reach a whole new level of engagement.

3. NOT geared towards children - Children are what put the dollars in the bank for hero movies. It seems almost crazy for a comic book company to not market their movie towards children and add dialogue and sequences (a la some guy getting hit in the nuts) that children love. Not so with The Dark Knight. As a matter of fact, it’s as though the writers completely ignored the children that would be watching the movie. This was an adult film, through and through.

Yet I don’t think that ignoring the kiddies is going to hurt the money made from this movie. Kids will still buy all the toys, memorabilia and everything else that they normally would (if not more). The only difference is that parents are loving the movie just as much as the kids. (Note: I wouldn’t recommend the movie to small children, as it’s really dark.)

4. No cheese - Comic book movies (X-Men, Spider Man, etc.) tend to have a lot of “cheese” written in to the dialogue. There always tend to be dumb one-liners thrown in, either to appeal to kids (see #3) or to make the movie like the comic book. Yet I couldn’t count a single one in The Dark Knight. And there were plenty of opportunities for it too. But the writers made a savvy move by not making the movie seem like a bunch of action sequences thrown together with cheesy dialogue, like most action movies.

5. Relied on real acting as opposed to special effects - I’ve never walked away from a movie and been so amazed by the quality of acting from all actors in the movie. This is not usually the case for action movies, or any movies for that matter. By holding out for the best actors and getting the right chemisty between them, the writers and casting crew ensured that the movie was a step-above all other action movies this summer.

6. Re-working the Joker’s character from the ground-up - A common theme to the direction of the movie was to “re-work” every aspect of the movie. There’s no better example of this than Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker. Instead of taking the typical, mostly-funny and hardly scary crack at one of the most portrayed villains, Ledger created something altogether different. The Joker is insane. He is by far scarier and altogether demented. In fact, that’s what makes him so scary. You can still tell he’s a person. Just the most twisted person you’ve ever seen. Instead of a playful villian, he’s something that any city would fear to have running loose.

7. Less like a comic book - Instead of making the movie a grandiose production like Spider Man, The Dark Knight felt almost nothing like a comic book. The writers of the movie realized that the over-the-top approach had been flogged to death, so they made the whole movie feel more believable. Sure, there are some pretty outlandish aspects of the movie (Batman’s “toys”, Two Face’s charred face, etc.), but as a whole the movie was much more believable than any other comic book movie. And the fact that it was more believable made the story more scary and gripping.

8. A lot more detail about the characters - Instead of placing the sole emphasis of the movie on limitless special effects budgets, the writers of The Dark Knight brought out the storyline of the characters more than any other Batman movie. This allowed you to identify with the characters much better, pulling you in to the movie as opposed to being a spectator.

It’s ALL about risks

It’s safe to say that the actors, writers and directors of The Dark Knight took some huge risks by completely doing away with comic movie norms. Heath Ledger could have played the Joker just like Jack Nicholson. The film score could have been huge and in the way, and they could have ensured success by writing the dialogue with children in mind.

But they didn’t.

Instead, they have an unprecedented blockbuster, and the movie is only 3 days old. The Dark Knight has already broken opening weekend records, and I think it’s safe to say that it will be breaking many more, plus being mentioned for some major awards. Did it pay for Christopher Nolan and Company to think outside the box while making the movie? You bet your sweet movie popcorn it did.

How are you thinking outside the box?

Senate Approves Bill to Broaden Wiretap Powers

WASHINGTON — The Senate gave final approval on Wednesday to a major expansion of the government’s surveillance powers, handing President Bush one more victory in a series of hard-fought clashes with Democrats over national security issues.

The measure, approved by a vote of 69 to 28, is the biggest revamping of federal surveillance law in 30 years. It includes a divisive element that Mr. Bush had deemed essential: legal immunity for the phone companies that cooperated in the National Security Agency wiretapping program he approved after the Sept. 11 attacks.

The vote came two and a half years after public disclosure of the wiretapping program set off a fierce national debate over the balance between protecting the country from another terrorist strike and ensuring civil liberties. The final outcome in Congress, which opponents of the surveillance measure had conceded for weeks, seemed almost anticlimactic in contrast.

Mr. Bush, appearing in the Rose Garden just after his return from Japan, called the vote “long overdue.” He promised to sign the measure into law quickly, saying it was critical to national security and showed that “even in an election year, we can come together and get important pieces of legislation passed.”

Even as his political stature has waned, Mr. Bush has managed to maintain his dominance on national security issues in a Democratic-led Congress. He has beat back efforts to cut troops and financing in Iraq, and he has won important victories on issues like interrogation tactics and military tribunals in the fight against terrorism.

Debate over the surveillance law was the one area where Democrats had held firm in opposition. House Democrats went so far as to allow a temporary surveillance measure to expire in February, leading to a five-month impasse and prompting accusations from Mr. Bush that the nation’s defenses against another strike by Al Qaeda had been weakened.

But in the end Mr. Bush won out, as administration officials helped forge a deal between Republican and Democratic leaders that included almost all the major elements the White House wanted. The measure gives the executive branch broader latitude in eavesdropping on people abroad and at home who it believes are tied to terrorism, and it reduces the role of a secret intelligence court in overseeing some operations.

Supporters maintained that the plan includes enough safeguards to protect Americans’ civil liberties, including reviews by several inspectors general. There is nothing to fear in the bill, said Senator Christopher S. Bond, the Missouri Republican who was a lead negotiator, “unless you have Al Qaeda on your speed dial.”

But some Democratic opponents saw the deal as “capitulation” to White House pressure by fellow Democrats.

“I urge my colleagues to stand up for the rule of law and defeat this bill,” Senator Russ Feingold, Democrat of Wisconsin, said Wednesday as the outcome was all but assured.

The final plan, which overhauls the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act passed by Congress in 1978 in the wake of Watergate, reflected both political reality and legal practicality, supporters said.

Wiretapping orders approved by secret orders under the previous version of the surveillance law were set to begin expiring in August unless Congress acted. Heading into their political convention in Denver next month and on to the November Congressional elections, many Democrats were wary of handing the Republicans a potent political weapon.

The issue put Senator Barack Obama, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, in a particularly precarious spot. He had long opposed giving legal immunity to the phone companies that took part in the N.S.A.’s wiretapping program, even threatening a filibuster during his run for the nomination. But on Wednesday, he ended up voting for what he called “an improved but imperfect bill” after backing a failed attempt earlier in the day to strip the immunity provision from the bill through an amendment.

Mr. Obama’s decision last month to reverse course angered some ardent supporters, who organized an Internet drive to influence his vote. And his position came to symbolize the continuing difficulties that Democrats have faced in striking a position on national security issues even against a weakened president. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, Democrat of New York, who had battled Mr. Obama for the nomination, voted against the bill.

Senator John McCain, the likely Republican presidential nominee, was campaigning in Ohio and did not vote, though he has consistently supported the immunity plan.

Support from key Democrats ensured passage of the measure.

Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, the West Virginia Democrat who leads the intelligence committee and helped broker the deal, said modernizing the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act was essential to give intelligence officials the technology tools they need to deter another attack. But he said the plan “was made even more complicated by the president’s decision, in the aftermath of Sept. 11, 2001, to go outside of FISA rather than work with Congress to fix it.”

He was referring to the secret program approved by Mr. Bush weeks after the Sept. 11 attacks that allowed the N.S.A, in a sharp legal and operational shift, to wiretap the international communications of Americans suspected of links to Al Qaeda without first getting court orders. The program was disclosed in December 2005 by The New York Times.

As Congress repeatedly tried to find a legislative solution, the main stumbling block was Mr. Bush’s insistence on legal immunity for the phone companies. The program itself ended in January 2007, when the White House agreed to bring it under the auspices of the FISA court, but more than 40 lawsuits continued churning through federal courts, charging AT&T, Verizon and other major carriers with violating customers’ privacy by conducting wiretaps at the White House’s direction without court orders.

The final deal, which passed the House on June 20, effectively ends those lawsuits. It includes a narrow review by a district court to determine whether the companies being sued received formal requests or directives from the administration to take part in the program. The administration has already acknowledged those directives exist. Once such a finding is made, the lawsuits “shall be promptly dismissed,” the bill says. Republican leaders say they regard the process as a mere formality to protect the phone carriers from liability.

Lawyers involved in the suits against the phone companies promised to challenge the immunity provision in federal court.

“The law itself is a massive intrusion into the due process rights of all of the phone subscribers who would be a part of the suit,” said Bruce Afran, a New Jersey lawyer representing several hundred plaintiffs suing Verizon and other companies. “It is a violation of the separation of powers. It’s presidential election-year cowardice. The Democrats are afraid of looking weak on national security.”

The legislation also expands the government’s power to invoke emergency wiretapping procedures. While the N.S.A. would be allowed to seek court orders for broad groups of foreign targets, the law creates a new seven-day period for directing wiretaps at foreigners without a court order in “exigent” circumstances if government officials assert that important national security information would be lost. The law also expands to seven days, from three, the period for emergency wiretaps on Americans without a court order if the attorney general certifies there is probable cause to believe the target is linked to terrorism.

Democrats pointed to some concessions they had won. The final bill includes a reaffirmation that the FISA law is the “exclusive” means of conducting intelligence wiretaps — a provision that Representative Nancy Pelosi of California, the House speaker, and other Democrats insisted would prevent Mr. Bush or any future president from evading court scrutiny in the way they say that the N.S.A. program did.

Top 8 Movie Sociopaths

June 30th, 2008 at 13:00 by David Schwartz

"Am I here to amuuz you?" Joe Pesci once menacingly asked in Goodfellas. Well, yes you are, to be honest.

It's hard to admit it, but we are always very entertained by sociopaths in movies. Maybe it's something in our DNA which finds nutters fascinating.

Now, at Hecklerspray we deplore violence. But, as we said before, violence in films is fine - because it's not real. As anyone who has been on public transport will testify, we all sometimes wish we were Tony Montana or Tony Soprano.

Somebody pushes past you without apologising? You hit them over the head with a fuck-off axe while shouting "You Goddamn cock-a-roach!" Someone cuts you up on the road? You pull him out of your car and kick the crap out of them.

Now, you would never actually do such a terrible thing. But, let's face it, we've all thought it. You haven't? What are you, a fucking boy scout? Anyway, the point is we have all thought of mindless violence in our head, but would never actually dream of doing it.

The sociopaths below, of course, would. And that's why we actually quite admire them.

Oh, and they shoot people and say cool things. So, say hello to our leetle friends!!

8. Hannibal Lector, Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Why do we like Anthony Hopkins' portrayal of a doctor who likes to eat his patients so much? Well, women like him because he is charming, a good cook, and, well, he's a doctor, which their mothers would approve of. And men like him because he is full of useless information (good for pub quizzes and chats) and can handle himself in a fight.

7. Harry Powell, Robert Mitcham in Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitcham is simply terrifying as the bible-bashing, misogynist preacher desperate to rid the world of 'perfume smelling things'. Imagine having him as your Sunday School teacher.

6. Begbie, Robert Carlyle in Trainspotting (1996)

The scary thing about Robert Carlyle's portrayal of Scottish nutcase Begbie is that it is clearly borne out of experience.If you like to go out for a drink with your mates in town quite a lot, chances are you have bumped into a Begbie. You know who we mean. He's the annoying bastard that pushes into you in the pub queue, and then demands you buy him a pint back. And if you don't, well, he'll glass you.

5. Tommy DeVito, Joe Pesci in Goodfellas (1990)

The clown prince of sociopaths, Joe Pesci's Tommy is as funny as he is terrifying. One moment he is making you laugh, the next he's gone totally nuts and shot you in the face. Does he amuuz us? Well, yes. Does he scare the shit out of us? Absolutely.

4. Tony Montana, Al Pacino in Scarface (1983)

Why do we like Al Pacino's portrayal of the Cuban sociopath Tony Montana so much? It's because he basically could not give a fuck about anyone or anything. Of course, polite society demands these people get their comeuppance, which Montana certainly does in a thrilling, blood-soaked finale. But there is something about him that we respect. Even when faced with having his limbs chopped off with a chainsaw he does not flinch. He sees a girl he likes; he gets her. Simple.

3. Han Gruber, Alan Rickman in Die Hard (1988)

Only Alan Rickman could make such a merciless and cold-bloodied killer so charming. He's so good, he almost upstages Bruce Willis – almost.

2. Anton Chigurh, Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men (2007)

Forget the dodgy haircut, Javier Bardem's contract killer Anton Chigurh is possibly one of the scariest sociopaths ever to appear on the silver screen. He is calculating, creative, ruthless and, what makes it worse, he gets away with it.

1. Jack Torrance, Jack Nicholson in The Shining (1980)

It's the shit-eating grin appearing though the door and shouting 'here's Johnny' that really sets Jack Nicholson apart from the rest. Chilling!